How to Choose Your Married Name: Traditional and Modern Options

In this article, we’ll walk you through the traditional and modern options to help you find the perfect married name, whether you want to stick to tradition or try something new.

1. Taking Your Spouse’s Last Name: The Classic Option

This is the most traditional choice. By taking your spouse’s last name, you’re creating a shared family identity. It’s a straightforward, classic option that’s legally simple to manage in most places, and it often requires minimal paperwork, especially if you’re already prepared to update your documents with the new name.

• Pros: Easy recognition as a family unit, often fewer legal steps.
• Cons: It can feel less personal if you’re attached to your original last name.

2. Keeping Your Last Name: Holding Onto Tradition

Many couples are choosing to maintain their individual last names. This approach respects each person’s family heritage, and it allows each spouse to retain the name they’ve always known. This choice is often easier when each spouse has already built a professional identity or personal brand around their name.

• Pros: Preserves each partner’s personal and professional identity.
• Cons: May require explaining your choice when it comes to official paperwork, shared finances, and if you have children.

3. Hyphenating Last Names: The Best of Both Worlds

If you’re looking for a compromise, hyphenating last names is a popular option. This choice honors both family names and shows your shared commitment as a couple. Hyphenating can feel meaningful, especially if both families are equally important in your lives.

• Pros: Combines both family names, providing balance and respect for each side.
• Cons: Some find hyphenated names lengthy and cumbersome, and they may be tricky for official forms or for children to adopt later.

4. Merging Last Names: A Modern Solution

Merging last names is a unique way to create a new family identity. This option combines both surnames into a new, blended name that feels fresh and distinctive. For example, if you’re a “Johnson” and your partner is a “Lee,” you might choose something like “Johnlee” or “Leejohn.” This approach is innovative and personal, making it an attractive option for couples looking for a new family name.

• Pros: Unique, highly personalized, and a fresh start.
• Cons: May be complicated legally, as merged names aren’t universally recognized, and some friends and family may be confused by the change.

5. Creating a New Name: A Clean Slate

Some couples are now opting to create an entirely new surname, unconnected to either family’s last name. This approach can be symbolic of starting fresh together, especially if both partners feel neutral about their original last names. A new last name can be meaningful if it relates to shared interests, values, or cultural heritage.

• Pros: Complete flexibility to choose a meaningful name; ideal for a fresh start.
• Cons: Requires a full legal name change process, and it may take time for family and friends to adjust.

6. Choosing a Double-Barreled Name: No Hyphen Required

A double-barreled name combines both last names without the hyphen (e.g., “Taylor Smith” rather than “Taylor-Smith”). This approach allows both names to be used in formal settings, but you can decide to use just one in other situations. Many see it as a simpler, less formal alternative to the hyphenated option.

• Pros: Balanced representation without the formality of hyphens; adaptable to different contexts.
• Cons: Can be confusing for official forms or records that may require one definitive last name.

7. First Last Name as a Middle Name: Keeping Both Names in One

Another common approach is to move your original last name to a middle name. This keeps both family names, but only the new married name will appear on official documents. It’s a great option if you want to preserve your maiden name while still adopting your spouse’s name as the family’s official last name.

• Pros: Keeps both names for continuity, great for professional identity.
• Cons: Doesn’t always retain equal emphasis on both family names.

8. What About the Kids?

If you’re planning to have children, consider which name they will take. Some couples use one parent’s last name for all children, while others choose to alternate. Think about the name continuity you’d like for your family, as this can guide you to the best option.

9. Making the Change Official

After choosing your name, the next step is to make it official. Check out our guide on how to change your name after marriage for an easy breakdown of each step involved—from updating your Social Security card to your passport and driver’s license.

Final Thoughts

Choosing a married name is a personal choice that’s as unique as your relationship. 

Whether you choose a traditional route or a modern twist, the name you pick can reflect both your personalities and shared values. 

Take your time, discuss options, and choose the one that feels right for both of you.